Homosexuality and State versus National Powers

Before I state my full opinion on the matter, let me get my social views out there: I will never be homosexual but I fully support gay marriage. Two of my best friends are homosexual and I want them to be able to be recognized as legally married if they so choose. However, I am fully against legalizing gay marriage on the national level. I would love it if each individual state could pass a law legalizing gay marriage. Unfortunately, the consequences of passing such a law in more conservative states could, I fear, prove disastrous, even fatal. I know of some people who cannot emotionally handle the fact that those people they despise could have full rights. I am sure there are residents like these in even the most liberal states, such as Massachusetts. However, they would easily be outvoted. In some states, the opposition would be too strong. There could be revolts, and the peace could turn to violence at any turn. It may not be that consequential to not pass the laws there, either. I live in a liberal area of Georgia, but I know that just a few counties over, no one ever comes out as being homosexual for fear of being hurt. No gays want to live in these places anyways, so to legalize gay marriage only in accepting areas does not particularly hurt them. Hopefully, some day, all will see homosexuality as natural and gay marriage will be legalized in all 50 states, but for now the handful of states that have legalized it will suffice.
However, in states with civil unions and domestic partnerships, gay MARRIAGE should slowly be introduced. I feel that it should be gradual, giving homosexuals more and more "marriage rights" until finally, they can be married under a priest, if they choose. There is a stereotype that all gays are unreligious; this is false. I have one very religious gay friend. He should be allowed to marry under a priest, yet under his state laws he will not even be allowed a domestic partnership. More states should slowly work towards legalizing gay marriage.